2/21/19 2/21/19

Words To Ponder: Several, Few, Many, Moment

Several a word defined in more than one way, but I want to focus on just one. It’s probably the most used meaning, as a number more than two or three but not many.

Since I was young, I always thought several meant a number around seven. And when I’d hear few, I always assumed about four. Through all its definitions, a few basically means a small number more than one.

When many is attributed to anything, it’s meant to be a large number of some sort.

When a moment passes by, it’s not what can be captured by a stopwatch. Instead it is just a brief, indefinite interval of time.

It has always bothered me why we use such words that aren’t definite. Of course, there are times and places to use words that aren’t exact. Too often though, I’ve noticed people embrace this wishy-washy language.

Is it fear of committing to something, or is it laziness? It’s worth looking into, and being more aware of, how we speak and express ourselves. I include myself in this, and understand how difficult it can be to nail down specifics.

We live in a click bait and “need it now” society that tolerates lacks of detail and follow through. Where did this lack of patience come from? Why can’t we take the time to enjoy the present and let what needs to happen on its own volition?

Recently, I saw a commercial for older folks dealing with hearing loss. My brain expected a normally fast commercial, but it kept going on. Then I realized the target demographic was for an older generation of people that don’t have limited attention spans. That was a small but profound reminder of how far we’ve fallen.

Life is way too short, so make sure to enjoy everything you’re given. Be present, while factoring in when it’s most appropriate to look ahead and look back. As they say it baseball, it’s a marathon, not a sprint!

2/21/19 2/21/19

Word To Ponder: Prententious

Pretentious is used three ways. First, it is for claiming that or behaving as if one is important or deserving of merit when such is not the case. Second, it used for showing or betraying an attitude of superiority. Third, it is marked by an extravagant or presumptuous outward show; ostentatious.

Here’s my relationship with the word pretentious. The first time I ever hear the word was from Lars Ulrich, Metallica’s drummer and self-described Metallica historian. It was during the week Lars was hosting the VH1 show The List sometime in 2000 where he said someone or something was pretentious. I had begun playing the drums earlier that year and Lars was my biggest influence to want to start up the instrument, so I paid attention to his words.

I was also entering adulthood and the meaning of pretentious had been in my subconscious all my life. Once Lars said the word, I didn’t need to look up what pretentious meant; the base word pretend was all I needed to have it resonate with me.

I’ve always been able to identify false authority figures and other forms of insincerity. It was there when anyone tried to exert their insecurities on me. There was a lot of verbal and mental abuse I had to endure when I was seen as an easy target or pawn.

Creating a false bravado in order to gain something has been around forever. Conning people of their minds and money, or both, will always be present. But why are there so many examples of pretentious behavior over the years? It doesn’t really need to exist, but yet again it does.

Needing a bad day once in a while to appreciate a great day is necessary for perspective. If you come across a person who says all the right things and sounds good, are they just trying to sell you on something they aren’t? Are they falsifying an image of what they want to be and/or what they want you to see? Or, are they truly as great as they are coming across? Is it too good to be true?

Assuming everyone is a liar or con artist until proven otherwise is no way to live. There is rarely ever a black and white situation. Live in the gray and learn as you go.

As I’ve aged, I have become sharper at recognizing insincerities everywhere. Social media is where a lot of it has migrated and is permeated, but it is just one of many current land mines of pretentiousness.

Staying nimble to what you know versus what you don’t is a solid solution. For the sake of survival on the way to truly thriving in life, you should attain a healthy ego and humility. It can be exhausting to attain and is more difficult to maintain, but is worthy of the sweat and residual equity.

2/21/19 2/21/19

Word To Ponder: Sexagenarian

A sexagenarian is a person that is between 60 and 70 years old. It is also used as an adjective as being 60 years old or between theages of 60 and 70 years old. A second adjective definition is of being related to a sexagenarian.

What caught me with this word is not so much ever hearing it, but wondering why it even exists. Or why is has to. I mean, really, does everything need a label? Can’t a person in their respective generation just be called that age or range instead of a label? It’s quite disheartening, and reminds me of something from my past.

One of my ex-girlfriends thought I was on the autism spectrum where Asperger’s Syndrome is. She and I had been living together for over two years at that point. One of her friends who is a therapist more or less diagnosed me with Asperger’s after a few couples nights out and observing me in other social settings.

My girlfriend was convinced I needed an actual diagnosis from a doctor who didn’t know me so she could understand how to “deal”with me. At that point, again over two years, we knew each other quite well and what made the other tick. She became obsessed about getting that label. We both knew the relationship was struggling and why it was. Labeling me wasn’t going to solve anything.

In short, we just stopped caring enough to meet each other’s needs. The mutual deprivation bred resentment and straw grasping. An Asperger’s diagnosis for me was her straw, whereas mine was feebly trying to replicate the early days when it was too late for her to care. We eventually came to the realization there wasn’t any turning back, and we simply grew apart after a grand total of three years. Thankfully, we parted ways amicably.

These days, there is a lot of generation bashing. Millennials garner much criticism that’s too unfair to pin on a span of time where the only commonality is when people were born.

Everything that warrants criticism starts and ends with culture; the culture a person was raised in and the culture the person puts themselves in as a free choosing adult.

All people come to a place in their lives when they realize their parents had to wing it and made the best choice they could at the time. When hindsight shows a better option existed, it’s up to that person to not resent their parents for any of that. You must take ownership of your life to live your best life, no matter the head start you were or were not given.

Some people can’t overcome the greatness of their parents, real or imagined, and become crippled by it and settle for a less than fulfilling life. Others don’t broaden their scope to see the bigger world that is there outside the realm their parents showed them.

Be careful what you judge and desire to label. My examples are just two of way too many. There will always be more than meets what you’re privy to. In this short attention span reality we live in, it’s never been more important.

It’s also never been more important to know yourself as best you can to withstand whatever judgement comes your way. Becoming something you’re not out of fear of judgment or influence of it serves nobody well, especially yourself.